The Bachelor’s 16th season launched to franchise-low…

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The epic, four-minute trailer for the all-new season of The Bachelor that aired at the end of last night’s season premiere has to be seen to be believed.

It has the feel of a big-budget film, not a reality show. Clearly, ABC ditched any pretense of love and ramped up the nudity, side plots and suspense.

More power to them. Sure, Ben is a real nice guy who probably does want to marry his final rose recipient, but it’s ALL about the drama this year:

The Bachelor Season Preview 2012

Straddling Ben, stripping buck naked in the ocean and openly taunting the competition, it seems safe to say Courtney’s the “bad girl” this winter.

But who is the girl in red? Ben’s ex? A familiar face? See our page dedicated to The Bachelor spoilers to find out (what we think is) the answer.

And who is the girl in black, mysteriously boarding the chopper as she “does a 180″ about saying yes to Ben Flajnik?! Is it the Black Widow herself?!

Share your theories with us in the comments, and stay tuned all winter log as THG live blogs the scripted, contrived awesomeness of each episode.

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Ashley Hebert rejected Ryan Park not once, but twice this season. Still, she says The Bachelorette castoff is one of her top choices to be The Bachelor.

Would Park consider a turn in the spotlight as ABC’s new Bachelor? “Maybe!” he said on a conference call with reporters, saying it would be an honor.

While he was clearly stoked about the idea – almost as much as he is about tankless water heaters – he did say it’s no easy task to be in command.

“Being the Bachelorette is hard!” Park said. “It’s unfortunate [Ashley] is being attacked for her insecurities, and how [Bentley Williams] preyed on that.”

As for getting dumped twice, Ryan says he has no hard feelings.

“When I was let go, I didn’t really understand, [but] now everything comes clear watching her chemistry with the other guys,” the 31-year-old said.

Having been dispatched before the hometown dates, Ryan showed up in Fiji out of the blue in this week’s episode. Ashley sent him home again.

“Timing has a place in every relationship. I do think Ashley and Icould  work; Maybe a date earlier on could have sparked something,” he said.

“Something could have been different if it was under different circumstances – or if [finalists] Ben Flajnik and JP Rosenbaum weren’t around!”

All in all, Park deems his one-time love “a great Bachelorette,” saying she was often misunderstood and looked at unfairly by fans and viewers.

Park says he’s no longer “in love with Ashley,” but will always feel a close connection to The Bachelorette star. That’s nice at least.

What do you think? Can you see Ryan Park as The Bachelor?

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Three of the girls on The Bachelor posed for the Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue last night. As we discussed in our Bachelor recap, this was both hot and awkward.

Ashley Hebert and Chantal O’Brien certainly looked the part of SI models, but when it came time for Michelle Money’s turn, she unleashed her crazy side yet again.

The bad news? Her near-topless mounting of Brad Womack drove Chantal to tears and made viewers queasy. The good news? It ultimately ran her out of town.

Here’s the SI swimsuit issue shoot in its sexy, uncomfortable entirety:

The Bachelor: Swimsuit Issue Group Date

While Irina Shayk took the Sports Illustrated swimsuit cover, Ashley and Chantal killed it during their shoots and gave any of the supermodels a run for their …

Sorry. As for Michelle, the unstable, sexually aggressive schtick had a good run, but officially ran its course after this. Even Brad came to his senses eventually.

Who do you want to win The Bachelor?

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He came in third on season nine of American Idol.

But Casey James might wanna finish first in the heart of a reality show contestant, he admits, recently expressing an interest in The Bachelor.

After everyone’s favorite host/pimp, Chris Harrison, ran into James at a party last month, he told the singer that he’d perfect for the ABC series. Responded James to OK! Weekly:

“I’ll try anything once. I’m always up for a new experience.”

Plenty of room under these arms, ladies!

James is busy with the American Idol tour right now, but you can imagine his reaction when pitched the idea of 25 women competing for his attention: “Oh, God, that sounds horrible!” he joked, adding: “Sign me up!”

When Casey first auditioned for the Fox competition, Kara DioGuardi openly swooned over him and made James take off his shirt. He’s been considered a singing stud ever since.

If James doesn’t take on the role, the next Bachelor will likely be one of Ali’s castoffs from this season: Chris, Roberto, Kirk or Frank.  Either way, desperate women will sign up for the show and ABC producers will script every event that takes place on it.

Do you think James should be the next Bachelor?

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According to just-ousted ring contender Gia, house pariah Vienna (one of two finalists) is actually a—hope…

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Note to future suitors on The Bachelor: if you wish to win over a man shallow enough to look for love on reality TV, you might not wanna tell him you’re saving your precious flower for marriage.

Corrie Adamson learned this the hard way when the Birmingham, Alabama native revealed to Jake Pavelka that she was a virgin… and was promptly cut from the show.

In a new interview with People, the wardrobe consultant spoke on her lack of aggression, universally-despised Vienna and more…

On not standing out: There were a lot of strong personalities there and they dominated our time with Jake. I’m not loud and look-at-me so I don’t think Jake got to see how much I laugh or how easygoing I am. In his defense, how hard is it to pay attention to eight girls at one time?

On Jake’s reaction to her virginity: I think he saw me younger after that and associated that with not having life experiences. But it has nothing to do with my age. If I was Jake’s age and single, I would still be a virgin. And it isn’t because I didn’t have opportunities or am immature. It takes more maturity to put that off.

On remaining women: I think that him and Vienna and Ali had a strong connection. Vienna probably makes Jake feel really young and like a man. But I would be surprised if they last. As far as what Jake said he was looking for, they’re very different.

On Vienna: She has a big personality that clashes with the other girls. I don’t think she’s intentionally mean, but she’s young and doesn’t think before she speaks… I don’t think she has a malicious heart, but if Jake would have seen things that went on with just the girls around, the final four would have been different.

One more note to potential cast members: Forget throwing yourself at a man you hardly know on national TV. Just pose topless for Maxim if you want attention.

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Gia Allemand is vying for Jake Pavelka’s heart on The Bachelor, but she vied for men’s attention in a different way when she posed for these racy Maxim pics!

It turns out Gia, one of Jake’s final four remaining women this season on the reality show, wasn’t kidding when she lists her profession as “swimsuit model.”

Apparently, Gia Allemand stripped down for Maxim a few years ago after breaking up with her previous boyfriend, injury-proned MLB pitcher Carl Pavano.

Here’s Pavano’s previous “catcher” as you’ve never seen her …

Gia Allemand: Bachelor hopeful and major heart-stopper.

It’s hard to say if Jake Pavelka is a lateral, downward or upward move from Carl Pavano, who probably went on the disabled list after seeing these photos.

Three things are beyond dispute here, however:

1. This needs to come up during Gia’s hometown date … or else.
2. Carl Pavano is a freaking idiot for (supposedly) cheating on Gia.
3. Jake is a freaking idiot for (supposedly) choosing Vienna Girardi.

Click to enlarge more Gia Allemand pictures in Maxim …

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